FUZZ MEETS THE FUNHOUSE: May 14th: Paul Diamond Blow, Pain Cocktail/ May 16th: The Evaporators
(***NOTE: Most future columns will feature one show per week. However, occasionally more than one show at The Funhouse a week is too good to pass up- SO, let's start this off with a bang! -FS-***)
WEDNESDAY MAY 14TH: Paul Diamond "Huggy" Blow, Pain Cocktail
The Funhouse. A success story built on beer and ibuprofen. The Seattle Police force's favorite punk palace to pummel punks at- or Brian Foss's dream playground? Hell, I haven't seen or heard of any publicized problems or issues for a long time. Brian Foss has shaped this former shithole up into a great little venue. Even the sound system has improved. How did Brian do it? Simple answer: Brian actually gives a shit. Can't say the same for a lot of places I've played on the road. The Funhouse seems to me like an optimum tour stop for working rock/punk rock bands out there in the USA who can still afford the gas.
Walked into the Funhouse last Wednesday for a beer. Hey! Clean taps! Whatta you know! Gotta have clean taps when you're drinkin' Pabst. People out there know what I'm talkin' about, right? Ran into my friend Paul "Ace" Diamond "Huggy" (Your Name Here) Blow, who is also the mastermind behind the local rock band The Space Cretins. Paul told me that he was opening the show that night. I figured that it would be worth it to stick around, since there was a rumor that Pain Cocktail was playing too. Pain Cocktail features a local scenester who's existence in this town is equal in stature to the tall space-age landmark across the street from the Funhouse.
Folks, I'm talking about SLATS, not the Space Needle!
Seattle's answer to Johnny Thunders, Slats (pronounced like "Slash", but with a lisp)somehow has been existing and maintaining his life in this town for many years. The guy is unstoppable. How does he do it? Many of us here have been trying to figure that one out. He is living proof that "Kids, do not try this at home" works for most of us...but not Slats! He's been walking these Seattle city streets with that "HAT" on for the last one hundred years. The man will live until he is at least 500 years old. Recently, I've been wondering if Slats sleeps in a coffin. Daytime 'Slats Sightings' are rare...but he's out there. Sometimes I wonder if ghosts really do exist...and in fear of uncovering the mystery, I will protect Slats and myself by saying that he might even be a ghost that walks amongst all of us with unearthly powers. They need to bring back the Scooby Doo Mysteries, and add Slats to it's roster of celebrity guests. After the popularity of grunge faded away, and it's notables were relegated to elder-statesman status, Slats proved to still be going strong.
Enough about Slats for now.
Paul Diamond Blow took the stage with an acoustic guitar in his hand, which seemed dwarfed by his bigger-than-life stage presence. A hybrid of Bob Dylan and David Johansen with a touch of Grant Hart, PDB represents Seattle comparable to how PBR befriends my wallet: Affordable, and goes down well when it's ice cold...but don't let it sit in the distribution warehouse storage unit for too long...get the beer and the boy out to boogie. Like one of his songs says, Paul Diamond Blow gets his "power from whiskey and sour". His other hit, the one about Pamela Anderson and her breasts, is always sure to please any crowd on any given night...even on a Wednesday. Paul is a gifted self-promoter and networker, star of many a public access program, and a long-time Fantagraphics graphic whiz kid. Visit http://www.myspace.com/paulblow for more info.
It seems kinda typical that PDB and Slats were on the same bill that night, being that they are both mysterious yet larger than life in their own special 'rock-it-and-shock-it' kind of way. PDB seems more accessable than Slats when it comes to engaging in conversation. Slats could combust into dust at any given moment, so we tend to keep our faithful eyes on him, so that we could claim being witness to it for instant popularity...if it ever happened in public.
Pain Cocktail took the stage with an awesome front guy, a new rhythm section (I hear that there has been a rotating cast as of late), and SLATS on guitar- a force of punk rock glam culture, and to my 36 year old virgin eyes, a sight to behold...imagine a baby's arm holding a 12 ounce can of PBR. Their set was plagued with the usual issues, like Slat's guitar set up having troubles, cords getting tangled, beers being knocked over, etc....but Slats in particular prevailed on through the set, making some of the most filthiest sounds I have ever heard come out of a black Les Paul Custom and a Fender Twin through a 4X12 cabinet. Sometimes, his guitar leads sounded like a fat squirrel being strangled with barbed wire in-between fits of screeching and resigned moaning. While some readers would believe the previous to be an insult, in my book of punk rock truth, I believe this to be one of the highest compliments that a guitarist can get.
No one sounds like Slats. Nobody. This is music to fuck your partner-in-crime to in the parking lot at the local 7-Eleven, just right before you both bust in to rob the till at gunpoint...but just remember that they don't keep much cash in their till after 10 pm, and their safe only dispenses cash on the hour. Try robbing an AM/PM Mini Market instead.
After their set, I was outside coming to my senses, when Slats stumbled by with what looked like a Bloody Mary in one hand, and a can of PBR in the other. I told him that he was my new guitar idol. He looked at me like I was crazy. Disheartened, I shrugged my shoulders and shuffled home.
Thank you for the music Slats !!!
FRIDAY MAY 16TH: The Evaporators, Voodoo Organist, TacocaT
I walked in expecting the show to be a sold out event. Instead, the place was half full all night, which was ok, because everyone there was an Evaporators fan, and also most likely a Nardwaur fan. For those who do not know, The Evaporators are a long-time Canadian institution, along with their lead frontguy Nardwaur. Nardwaur is a Canadian television media personality (CBC and MuchMusic), radio shock DJ (CiTR FM Radio, Vancouver BC), and is a contender for the title of 'Rock Journalism's Weird Al Yankovich'. You have definitely made it in rock when either Weird Al parodies your hit song, or if you tour Canada and Nardwaur asks you for an interview.
I had the pleasure of meeting Nardwaur at a wedding near Whistler about ten years ago. We were noticing that the party was kind of a drag, and not even the hired DJ (who had fucked up and played "Una Paloma Blanca" by The George Baker Selction TWICE) could spice up the party. I mentioned my idea of an old fashioned disco boogie line, where people join hands over the top of their heads to form an arch, and the person at the head of the line gets to boogie on down the path, until they get to the end, only to join hands to do it again when they get to the top. I'd seen this done at some parties in my youth. Nardwaur had never seen this party line ever, but was obviously intrigued. Within a half an hour, he had almost everyone at the party engaged in a disco line like the one I had explained. It was one of the most amazing things that I had ever seen.
Anyway, this night's show was also the guitarist (and long-time Evaporator's secret weapon/studio genius) David Carswell's birthday. I walked up to Nardwaur's merch table and bought myself his new DVD "Welcome to My Castle", put out by Mint Records. I had a conversation with Nardwaur about my trip to SXSW on the Greyhound. He seemed fascinated by my descriptions of dirty American bus stations, and mentioned that the one in Vancouver B.C. is one of the worst in the world, and in the shittiest part of town too. I know this, because I've been to that one. It's fun to talk to Nardwaur, because you realize soon enough that he is interviewing you, genuinely interested in what you have to say, and most likely similtaneously cataloging all of the info somewhere up there in that vast reservoir of knowledge that he carries through his journeys in journalism.
There was a band playing when I came in, but I only caught one song, and didn't catch their name. Next up, TacocaT (a palindrome for "Taco") played their fun, fast, pogo-like punk. Pretty darn good, and fun. They reminded me of the Angry Samoans for today's young people. Emily, their lead singer, was very effective, with an over-average stage presence, and that rainbow tamborine she kept shakin'. Lelah played drums, Bree played bass, and Eric played guitar and challenged everyone to a basketball contest outside after the set. Fun stuff. Hopefully, none of these kids will end up on heroin, and they will create their own "Dark Side Of The Moon" someday. When I say 'kids' I mean 'kids' with all due respect for the innocence that they showed on stage, which is something we all wish to keep throughout our lives...SLATS would know what I'm talking about. Check out http://www.myspace.com/tacocattacocattacocat.
I watched the Voodoo Organist play a couple of songs, and was amazed by his prowess over his instrument. He had a drummer backing him up, or two? I can't remember...the PBR was starting to take effect. Very strange hybrid of industrial-synthesized country-bumpkin fare. Goes over well with fans of The Cramps and Skinny Puppy alike. If they bring back the Munsters in an updated form, this guy should be their house band. http://www.voodooorganist.com
What more can I say about The Evaporators, except that anyone who was not there MISSED OUT!!! From the opening sing-along chorus of "WIGGL-EYE PIGGL-EYE!!" to the encore that I didn't get to see (saw all of the rest of the show though), The Evaporators should be huge in America, but thank God that they weren't on this night, because when they do become more famous in America, I will say "HA HA!! I've seen some of the best Evaporators sets, and you haven't!". I've seen them enough to know how the set will go most of the time, but it's just refreshing to see a front guy like Nardwaur interacting with the audience like he does. Not a frowning face in the house EVER! This is FUN! Add the costume changes for extra guffaw, and you've got one fun hell of a show. Also, the band just smokes! Talk about a good showband!
They did their anthems, like "I'm Going To France", "I Gotta Rash", "Addicted to Cheese", and my personal favorite "I Don't Need My Friends To Tell Me Who My Friends Are", but in-between, it is not an easy task to convince a bunch of tired drunk people to hoist up not only you, but your 75 pound farfisa up on hands, so that you can play it flying around the room like Superman. He does though, and he gets the audience support everytime. How could you drop punk rock royalty on it's head? It would be a crime.
The songs off of the new LP "Gassy Jack And Other Tales" were enjoyable and showed a fresher lyrical maturity, but never straying off the path of humor and fun. My favorite out of the bunch is the song about the lead singer of Death Sentence, the late Pete Cleaver, who stapled his nutsack to a picnic bench and then asked for a butterknife to remove the staples: "Where's The Butterknife".
The Evaporators take the negativity from all the other goings-on in rock or punk rock, and add a word that I mentioned many times in this article- F.U.N.- FUN! Remember that word...it could save you a trip to the hospital, because you were a dumbass and told another dumbass to "fuck off", because they drunkenly stepped on your Chuck Taylors at an 'Avenge Sevenfold' concert. You are missing out on a band that has been around for years, may not be around the next time around, and around and around we go. Don't miss out on them like you did if you never saw The Smugglers, another great Vancouver band cut from the same cloth that sadly went south...Go see THE EVAPORATORS! NOW!!!
http://theevaporators.com
http://www.nardwuar.com
The Funhouse is located at 206 5th Ave. N, Seattle WA, kitty-corner across from the Space Needle/Seattle Center, and right next door to a McDonalds, which MDC probably avoids eating at when they come to town and play.
The Funhouse. A success story built on beer and ibuprofen. The Seattle Police force's favorite punk palace to pummel punks at- or Brian Foss's dream playground? Hell, I haven't seen or heard of any publicized problems or issues for a long time. Brian Foss has shaped this former shithole up into a great little venue. Even the sound system has improved. How did Brian do it? Simple answer: Brian actually gives a shit. Can't say the same for a lot of places I've played on the road. The Funhouse seems to me like an optimum tour stop for working rock/punk rock bands out there in the USA who can still afford the gas.
Walked into the Funhouse last Wednesday for a beer. Hey! Clean taps! Whatta you know! Gotta have clean taps when you're drinkin' Pabst. People out there know what I'm talkin' about, right? Ran into my friend Paul "Ace" Diamond "Huggy" (Your Name Here) Blow, who is also the mastermind behind the local rock band The Space Cretins. Paul told me that he was opening the show that night. I figured that it would be worth it to stick around, since there was a rumor that Pain Cocktail was playing too. Pain Cocktail features a local scenester who's existence in this town is equal in stature to the tall space-age landmark across the street from the Funhouse.
Folks, I'm talking about SLATS, not the Space Needle!
Seattle's answer to Johnny Thunders, Slats (pronounced like "Slash", but with a lisp)somehow has been existing and maintaining his life in this town for many years. The guy is unstoppable. How does he do it? Many of us here have been trying to figure that one out. He is living proof that "Kids, do not try this at home" works for most of us...but not Slats! He's been walking these Seattle city streets with that "HAT" on for the last one hundred years. The man will live until he is at least 500 years old. Recently, I've been wondering if Slats sleeps in a coffin. Daytime 'Slats Sightings' are rare...but he's out there. Sometimes I wonder if ghosts really do exist...and in fear of uncovering the mystery, I will protect Slats and myself by saying that he might even be a ghost that walks amongst all of us with unearthly powers. They need to bring back the Scooby Doo Mysteries, and add Slats to it's roster of celebrity guests. After the popularity of grunge faded away, and it's notables were relegated to elder-statesman status, Slats proved to still be going strong.
Enough about Slats for now.
Paul Diamond Blow took the stage with an acoustic guitar in his hand, which seemed dwarfed by his bigger-than-life stage presence. A hybrid of Bob Dylan and David Johansen with a touch of Grant Hart, PDB represents Seattle comparable to how PBR befriends my wallet: Affordable, and goes down well when it's ice cold...but don't let it sit in the distribution warehouse storage unit for too long...get the beer and the boy out to boogie. Like one of his songs says, Paul Diamond Blow gets his "power from whiskey and sour". His other hit, the one about Pamela Anderson and her breasts, is always sure to please any crowd on any given night...even on a Wednesday. Paul is a gifted self-promoter and networker, star of many a public access program, and a long-time Fantagraphics graphic whiz kid. Visit http://www.myspace.com/paulblow for more info.
It seems kinda typical that PDB and Slats were on the same bill that night, being that they are both mysterious yet larger than life in their own special 'rock-it-and-shock-it' kind of way. PDB seems more accessable than Slats when it comes to engaging in conversation. Slats could combust into dust at any given moment, so we tend to keep our faithful eyes on him, so that we could claim being witness to it for instant popularity...if it ever happened in public.
Pain Cocktail took the stage with an awesome front guy, a new rhythm section (I hear that there has been a rotating cast as of late), and SLATS on guitar- a force of punk rock glam culture, and to my 36 year old virgin eyes, a sight to behold...imagine a baby's arm holding a 12 ounce can of PBR. Their set was plagued with the usual issues, like Slat's guitar set up having troubles, cords getting tangled, beers being knocked over, etc....but Slats in particular prevailed on through the set, making some of the most filthiest sounds I have ever heard come out of a black Les Paul Custom and a Fender Twin through a 4X12 cabinet. Sometimes, his guitar leads sounded like a fat squirrel being strangled with barbed wire in-between fits of screeching and resigned moaning. While some readers would believe the previous to be an insult, in my book of punk rock truth, I believe this to be one of the highest compliments that a guitarist can get.
No one sounds like Slats. Nobody. This is music to fuck your partner-in-crime to in the parking lot at the local 7-Eleven, just right before you both bust in to rob the till at gunpoint...but just remember that they don't keep much cash in their till after 10 pm, and their safe only dispenses cash on the hour. Try robbing an AM/PM Mini Market instead.
After their set, I was outside coming to my senses, when Slats stumbled by with what looked like a Bloody Mary in one hand, and a can of PBR in the other. I told him that he was my new guitar idol. He looked at me like I was crazy. Disheartened, I shrugged my shoulders and shuffled home.
Thank you for the music Slats !!!
I walked in expecting the show to be a sold out event. Instead, the place was half full all night, which was ok, because everyone there was an Evaporators fan, and also most likely a Nardwaur fan. For those who do not know, The Evaporators are a long-time Canadian institution, along with their lead frontguy Nardwaur. Nardwaur is a Canadian television media personality (CBC and MuchMusic), radio shock DJ (CiTR FM Radio, Vancouver BC), and is a contender for the title of 'Rock Journalism's Weird Al Yankovich'. You have definitely made it in rock when either Weird Al parodies your hit song, or if you tour Canada and Nardwaur asks you for an interview.
I had the pleasure of meeting Nardwaur at a wedding near Whistler about ten years ago. We were noticing that the party was kind of a drag, and not even the hired DJ (who had fucked up and played "Una Paloma Blanca" by The George Baker Selction TWICE) could spice up the party. I mentioned my idea of an old fashioned disco boogie line, where people join hands over the top of their heads to form an arch, and the person at the head of the line gets to boogie on down the path, until they get to the end, only to join hands to do it again when they get to the top. I'd seen this done at some parties in my youth. Nardwaur had never seen this party line ever, but was obviously intrigued. Within a half an hour, he had almost everyone at the party engaged in a disco line like the one I had explained. It was one of the most amazing things that I had ever seen.
Anyway, this night's show was also the guitarist (and long-time Evaporator's secret weapon/studio genius) David Carswell's birthday. I walked up to Nardwaur's merch table and bought myself his new DVD "Welcome to My Castle", put out by Mint Records. I had a conversation with Nardwaur about my trip to SXSW on the Greyhound. He seemed fascinated by my descriptions of dirty American bus stations, and mentioned that the one in Vancouver B.C. is one of the worst in the world, and in the shittiest part of town too. I know this, because I've been to that one. It's fun to talk to Nardwaur, because you realize soon enough that he is interviewing you, genuinely interested in what you have to say, and most likely similtaneously cataloging all of the info somewhere up there in that vast reservoir of knowledge that he carries through his journeys in journalism.
There was a band playing when I came in, but I only caught one song, and didn't catch their name. Next up, TacocaT (a palindrome for "Taco") played their fun, fast, pogo-like punk. Pretty darn good, and fun. They reminded me of the Angry Samoans for today's young people. Emily, their lead singer, was very effective, with an over-average stage presence, and that rainbow tamborine she kept shakin'. Lelah played drums, Bree played bass, and Eric played guitar and challenged everyone to a basketball contest outside after the set. Fun stuff. Hopefully, none of these kids will end up on heroin, and they will create their own "Dark Side Of The Moon" someday. When I say 'kids' I mean 'kids' with all due respect for the innocence that they showed on stage, which is something we all wish to keep throughout our lives...SLATS would know what I'm talking about. Check out http://www.myspace.com/tacocattacocattacocat.
I watched the Voodoo Organist play a couple of songs, and was amazed by his prowess over his instrument. He had a drummer backing him up, or two? I can't remember...the PBR was starting to take effect. Very strange hybrid of industrial-synthesized country-bumpkin fare. Goes over well with fans of The Cramps and Skinny Puppy alike. If they bring back the Munsters in an updated form, this guy should be their house band. http://www.voodooorganist.com
What more can I say about The Evaporators, except that anyone who was not there MISSED OUT!!! From the opening sing-along chorus of "WIGGL-EYE PIGGL-EYE!!" to the encore that I didn't get to see (saw all of the rest of the show though), The Evaporators should be huge in America, but thank God that they weren't on this night, because when they do become more famous in America, I will say "HA HA!! I've seen some of the best Evaporators sets, and you haven't!". I've seen them enough to know how the set will go most of the time, but it's just refreshing to see a front guy like Nardwaur interacting with the audience like he does. Not a frowning face in the house EVER! This is FUN! Add the costume changes for extra guffaw, and you've got one fun hell of a show. Also, the band just smokes! Talk about a good showband!
They did their anthems, like "I'm Going To France", "I Gotta Rash", "Addicted to Cheese", and my personal favorite "I Don't Need My Friends To Tell Me Who My Friends Are", but in-between, it is not an easy task to convince a bunch of tired drunk people to hoist up not only you, but your 75 pound farfisa up on hands, so that you can play it flying around the room like Superman. He does though, and he gets the audience support everytime. How could you drop punk rock royalty on it's head? It would be a crime.
The songs off of the new LP "Gassy Jack And Other Tales" were enjoyable and showed a fresher lyrical maturity, but never straying off the path of humor and fun. My favorite out of the bunch is the song about the lead singer of Death Sentence, the late Pete Cleaver, who stapled his nutsack to a picnic bench and then asked for a butterknife to remove the staples: "Where's The Butterknife".
The Evaporators take the negativity from all the other goings-on in rock or punk rock, and add a word that I mentioned many times in this article- F.U.N.- FUN! Remember that word...it could save you a trip to the hospital, because you were a dumbass and told another dumbass to "fuck off", because they drunkenly stepped on your Chuck Taylors at an 'Avenge Sevenfold' concert. You are missing out on a band that has been around for years, may not be around the next time around, and around and around we go. Don't miss out on them like you did if you never saw The Smugglers, another great Vancouver band cut from the same cloth that sadly went south...Go see THE EVAPORATORS! NOW!!!
http://theevaporators.com
http://www.nardwuar.com
The Funhouse is located at 206 5th Ave. N, Seattle WA, kitty-corner across from the Space Needle/Seattle Center, and right next door to a McDonalds, which MDC probably avoids eating at when they come to town and play.
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better yet Blip them...its way cooler and all the kids are doin it..
good job Fred, cant wait for the next one!
LM