Eating Steely Dan
One thing that I like about human beings is that we all have our little quirks that shape the way that we see ourselves or how others see us. I guess blogs and bulletin boards tell the story if we choose to be showoffs. It is up to us whether or not we want to carry the full vision or possible facade of our quirks over to our friends, relatives and people at large. I call it creativity or a cry for help, if you will. Why do I get on stage? Why do I write blogs? Who made up that stupid space-age word 'blog' anyway?
Also, we each have our own favorite movies, bands, drugs, whatever, that we enjoy for entertainment, and sometimes we strive to let people know at the drop of a hat. This is part of being human. Human. Human. Human. We're only human. 'Human' rhymes with 'albumin'. Take the "in" away from the end of albumin and you have an "album". Remember albums? Some guy, not naming names, corrected me last week when I called a CD an "album". He said, "You mean 'CD', right?".
I said, "Wrong! Album."
Why is it that we cannot call CDs "albums"? Or can we? I'm confused. I always thought that an 'album' was a compilation of pictures, songs, or short stories, etc. Am I right? Same thing with calling it a "record"...you push 'record' and make the damn thing...am I right or wrong?
Anyways (with an 's' at the end and yes I'm aware that it's bad grammar), people still make albums even though they put them on CDs instead. People are always putting out good albums and hopefully they will contnue to do so, even though the industry is reverting back to a song-by-song format in the shape of an mp3. Wow...even back in 1998, I wasn't talking like this. So much has happened so fast when it comes to technology. I'm starting to sound old. This is what happens when you get older.
Like I said, everyone has their own favorite band or bands. Mine is Steely Dan by default. It's a curse...and a way of life. Steely Dan has always been there for me whether I need them or not. Fuck the whole yacht rock thing for lack of anything better to compare them to or talk about amongst your friends. Admit it, you may be one of those people that hated Steely Dan, but Yacht Rock came along and made it cool to like them again. Not in my case...no no no...I live and breathe friggin' Steely Dan whether I like it or not. Sometimes it suffocates me until I'm gasping for air, but Steely Dan is like my security blanket and my nemesis all-in-one. Steely Dan is a part of me that I cannot deny.
My parents tell it to me like this: When I was about two in 1974 (the year "Pretzel Logic" came out), they witnessed me singing my first sentence, which was "Rikki Don't Lose That Number", or better yet, "Wikki don' wooze dat numboe!". Dad tells me of the excitement he had when he invited his friends over to the house to get stoned and had them watch me, with headphones on, sing it to them, which set the precedent of my life. I always looked up to my father...wanted to be like him in every way. Steely Dan was my connection to it all. Steely Dan took the place of a father that I loved, still love, when he was not there to talk to, which was often. He's aware of this, which fortunately seals the deal for me.
I stood like the odd kid out when it came to my classmates and their addiction to KISS. I had Steely Dan...and paid for it in shame. "Hey dude, check out my copy of 'Destroyer'". "COOL. HAVE YOU HEARD 'THE ROYAL SCAM' BY STEELY DAN?". "Nah, screw that. Steely Dan's for pussies."
Each song by Steely Dan has a place, time, and memory for me. I'm aware that we all have these experiences with music. There are just some kinds of music that we ignore because we hate it. I don't even know if I love or hate Steely Dan. They're just there, that's all. They're there for me, whether I want them there or not...both of them, dammit. Fagen and Becker...STARING at me with those creepy sunglasses on, inside the fold-out of the vinyl version of 'Aja'.
Of course, I view and listen to Steely Dan in album format rather than the random shuffle habit that some of us have. Listening to the complete album, in my opinion, is the only way to listen to Steely Dan. Take 'Can't Buy A Thrill'* for example- a really creepy, cold, funky album from start-to-finish. The first two records are both like that. 'Countdown To Ecstasy' is the same way- cold and funky, but with a more callous egde...and if you could taste that album, I would say that it tastes like a moldy grape. It makes me feel kind-of squeamish to listen to those albums...but the effect has a sort-of numbing-of-the-spine process for me. Imagine biting down on a 9 volt battery and then translate it to your spine. Were you one of those kids who liked putting your tongue on a 9 volt battery? I was. The first two albums are there for me in this same way.
'Pretzel Logic" feels a bit more polished and real...a nice analog album that will never ever translate very well digitally in my opinion. I'm glad that they have kept it that way, and didn't try to change the mix or remaster it in some strange way. That album takes away the spine pain and changes it to chills...raises the goosebumps. Side two in particular is an amazing song cycle. If you can get past Donald Fagen's voice, which is hands-down one of the best of all time since most people love it and hate it just the same, the songs end up hooking you like a jazz rock slut. 'Charlie Freak', in particular, is an example of what loneliness tastes like. I feel that this record tastes like an avocado.
'Katy Lied' tastes like a salty kippered snack, but you can tell me different. 'The Royal Scam' tastes like a lemon. 'Aja' tastes like lime soda. 'Gaucho' tastes like rotten nutmeg. All of Donald Fagen's solo albums taste like chocolate cake with a hint of orange mint, especially his latest one, 'Morph The Cat'. Walter Becker's solo record from the '90s tastes like salmon without any butter or seasoning, with occasional hints of lasagna. "Two Against Nature", which I do not like for some reason, tastes like left-over spaghetti covered with unsweetened tomato paste. 'Everything Must Go' doesn't taste like anything...come to think of it, maybe it has sort-of a plain Perrier sparkling water bite to it.
When I am seriously hung over, like I am today, I like to punish myself in a musical masochistic way, by listening to the ABC records version of 'Countdown To Ecstasy' from start to finish. I think that I'm growing up a bit, especially since I cheated today (please don't tell anybody...) by skipping over 'Show Biz Kids' and 'My Old School' on side two and went straight to 'Pearl Of The Quarter'. I have plans to give the previous two neglected songs some quality time later on, and I hope that they do not resent me for not giving them ear time today.
I used to have marathons, where I would listen to every 70's Steely Dan record in chronological order, which takes about 6 hours or so out of your day. However, it's not usually a complete waste of time if you're getting drunk with Steely Dan. I would usually drink about 20 beers in that same 6 hour duration, and by the time I would get to 'Gaucho', I would not remember listening to it. For this reason, 'Gaucho' does not get a lot of my time, because it just kind of hangs in the air, in it's rotten nutmeg way...not that it's a bad album...I mean, it's a classic...but for that same reason, I try not to use Steely Dan as an excuse to get fucked up anymore. Rather, I try and use Steely Dan as a hangover cure.
Some of the best guitar playing and solos in the world can be found on these records. Sometimes, people forget that. They're too busy aping the lyrics to "Peggggg, it will come back to you....Pegggggg, it will come back to you." Somebody told me once that they thought that the lyrics to 'Hey Nineteen' were actually "Canine teeth!". That's fucking funny...at least in my world, it is.
Sometimes though, just like in any marriage or relationship, I get fed up and want to divorce Steely Dan, so I can get on with my life...but somehow, they come back, because they're one of the most popular bands of all time. You can run, but you can't hide from the dark force that is Steely Dan. They'll find you everywhere, hiding in grocery stores, passing cars, tv commercials, garbage cans and back alleys. I even once saw a stray rabid dog, who came up and barked the guitar lead-in of 'Bodhisattva' to me. Just kidding. I'm not that crazy. Or am I?
Well, that's really it, Dr. Wu. I can't think of anything much else to add. As my psychiatrist, you can tell me if I need to be medicated or not. Steely Dan is such a part of me, that I tried to cut it away from my body. It won't ease up on the suction part of it's mouth. I believe that it's actually sucking all of my life's blood out of my body like a leech...drop by drop. My heart beats like my blood is infected and turning into molasses. There must be a cure.
Can you hear me, doctor? Are you with me, doctor?
(*'Can't Buy A Thrill' has always tasted to me like toothpaste. Look at the cover...you tell me.)
Also, we each have our own favorite movies, bands, drugs, whatever, that we enjoy for entertainment, and sometimes we strive to let people know at the drop of a hat. This is part of being human. Human. Human. Human. We're only human. 'Human' rhymes with 'albumin'. Take the "in" away from the end of albumin and you have an "album". Remember albums? Some guy, not naming names, corrected me last week when I called a CD an "album". He said, "You mean 'CD', right?".
I said, "Wrong! Album."
Why is it that we cannot call CDs "albums"? Or can we? I'm confused. I always thought that an 'album' was a compilation of pictures, songs, or short stories, etc. Am I right? Same thing with calling it a "record"...you push 'record' and make the damn thing...am I right or wrong?
Anyways (with an 's' at the end and yes I'm aware that it's bad grammar), people still make albums even though they put them on CDs instead. People are always putting out good albums and hopefully they will contnue to do so, even though the industry is reverting back to a song-by-song format in the shape of an mp3. Wow...even back in 1998, I wasn't talking like this. So much has happened so fast when it comes to technology. I'm starting to sound old. This is what happens when you get older.
Like I said, everyone has their own favorite band or bands. Mine is Steely Dan by default. It's a curse...and a way of life. Steely Dan has always been there for me whether I need them or not. Fuck the whole yacht rock thing for lack of anything better to compare them to or talk about amongst your friends. Admit it, you may be one of those people that hated Steely Dan, but Yacht Rock came along and made it cool to like them again. Not in my case...no no no...I live and breathe friggin' Steely Dan whether I like it or not. Sometimes it suffocates me until I'm gasping for air, but Steely Dan is like my security blanket and my nemesis all-in-one. Steely Dan is a part of me that I cannot deny.
My parents tell it to me like this: When I was about two in 1974 (the year "Pretzel Logic" came out), they witnessed me singing my first sentence, which was "Rikki Don't Lose That Number", or better yet, "Wikki don' wooze dat numboe!". Dad tells me of the excitement he had when he invited his friends over to the house to get stoned and had them watch me, with headphones on, sing it to them, which set the precedent of my life. I always looked up to my father...wanted to be like him in every way. Steely Dan was my connection to it all. Steely Dan took the place of a father that I loved, still love, when he was not there to talk to, which was often. He's aware of this, which fortunately seals the deal for me.
I stood like the odd kid out when it came to my classmates and their addiction to KISS. I had Steely Dan...and paid for it in shame. "Hey dude, check out my copy of 'Destroyer'". "COOL. HAVE YOU HEARD 'THE ROYAL SCAM' BY STEELY DAN?". "Nah, screw that. Steely Dan's for pussies."
Each song by Steely Dan has a place, time, and memory for me. I'm aware that we all have these experiences with music. There are just some kinds of music that we ignore because we hate it. I don't even know if I love or hate Steely Dan. They're just there, that's all. They're there for me, whether I want them there or not...both of them, dammit. Fagen and Becker...STARING at me with those creepy sunglasses on, inside the fold-out of the vinyl version of 'Aja'.
Of course, I view and listen to Steely Dan in album format rather than the random shuffle habit that some of us have. Listening to the complete album, in my opinion, is the only way to listen to Steely Dan. Take 'Can't Buy A Thrill'* for example- a really creepy, cold, funky album from start-to-finish. The first two records are both like that. 'Countdown To Ecstasy' is the same way- cold and funky, but with a more callous egde...and if you could taste that album, I would say that it tastes like a moldy grape. It makes me feel kind-of squeamish to listen to those albums...but the effect has a sort-of numbing-of-the-spine process for me. Imagine biting down on a 9 volt battery and then translate it to your spine. Were you one of those kids who liked putting your tongue on a 9 volt battery? I was. The first two albums are there for me in this same way.
'Pretzel Logic" feels a bit more polished and real...a nice analog album that will never ever translate very well digitally in my opinion. I'm glad that they have kept it that way, and didn't try to change the mix or remaster it in some strange way. That album takes away the spine pain and changes it to chills...raises the goosebumps. Side two in particular is an amazing song cycle. If you can get past Donald Fagen's voice, which is hands-down one of the best of all time since most people love it and hate it just the same, the songs end up hooking you like a jazz rock slut. 'Charlie Freak', in particular, is an example of what loneliness tastes like. I feel that this record tastes like an avocado.
'Katy Lied' tastes like a salty kippered snack, but you can tell me different. 'The Royal Scam' tastes like a lemon. 'Aja' tastes like lime soda. 'Gaucho' tastes like rotten nutmeg. All of Donald Fagen's solo albums taste like chocolate cake with a hint of orange mint, especially his latest one, 'Morph The Cat'. Walter Becker's solo record from the '90s tastes like salmon without any butter or seasoning, with occasional hints of lasagna. "Two Against Nature", which I do not like for some reason, tastes like left-over spaghetti covered with unsweetened tomato paste. 'Everything Must Go' doesn't taste like anything...come to think of it, maybe it has sort-of a plain Perrier sparkling water bite to it.
When I am seriously hung over, like I am today, I like to punish myself in a musical masochistic way, by listening to the ABC records version of 'Countdown To Ecstasy' from start to finish. I think that I'm growing up a bit, especially since I cheated today (please don't tell anybody...) by skipping over 'Show Biz Kids' and 'My Old School' on side two and went straight to 'Pearl Of The Quarter'. I have plans to give the previous two neglected songs some quality time later on, and I hope that they do not resent me for not giving them ear time today.
I used to have marathons, where I would listen to every 70's Steely Dan record in chronological order, which takes about 6 hours or so out of your day. However, it's not usually a complete waste of time if you're getting drunk with Steely Dan. I would usually drink about 20 beers in that same 6 hour duration, and by the time I would get to 'Gaucho', I would not remember listening to it. For this reason, 'Gaucho' does not get a lot of my time, because it just kind of hangs in the air, in it's rotten nutmeg way...not that it's a bad album...I mean, it's a classic...but for that same reason, I try not to use Steely Dan as an excuse to get fucked up anymore. Rather, I try and use Steely Dan as a hangover cure.
Some of the best guitar playing and solos in the world can be found on these records. Sometimes, people forget that. They're too busy aping the lyrics to "Peggggg, it will come back to you....Pegggggg, it will come back to you." Somebody told me once that they thought that the lyrics to 'Hey Nineteen' were actually "Canine teeth!". That's fucking funny...at least in my world, it is.
Sometimes though, just like in any marriage or relationship, I get fed up and want to divorce Steely Dan, so I can get on with my life...but somehow, they come back, because they're one of the most popular bands of all time. You can run, but you can't hide from the dark force that is Steely Dan. They'll find you everywhere, hiding in grocery stores, passing cars, tv commercials, garbage cans and back alleys. I even once saw a stray rabid dog, who came up and barked the guitar lead-in of 'Bodhisattva' to me. Just kidding. I'm not that crazy. Or am I?
Well, that's really it, Dr. Wu. I can't think of anything much else to add. As my psychiatrist, you can tell me if I need to be medicated or not. Steely Dan is such a part of me, that I tried to cut it away from my body. It won't ease up on the suction part of it's mouth. I believe that it's actually sucking all of my life's blood out of my body like a leech...drop by drop. My heart beats like my blood is infected and turning into molasses. There must be a cure.
Can you hear me, doctor? Are you with me, doctor?
(*'Can't Buy A Thrill' has always tasted to me like toothpaste. Look at the cover...you tell me.)
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