San Francisco Music News

Welcome to My Office: "So, slow night out here," the girl who's wandered outside to have a cigarette asks with a throaty laugh. I turn my head from side to side and, seeing only my three co-workers trying to sustain verticality with exhasuted looks on their faces, I throw up my arms and shrug my shoulders. "I supposes so, but you never know when then Tenderloin might erupt into anarchy, which is why they keep us around." "Sheeeeit," groans Woogie, my fellow doorman whose giggle can be heard all the way to Pill Alley , belying the fact that he could probably lift you up with one hand. "They only keep us around to move furniture and yell at the occasional crackhead." "Not to mention deal with all kinds of people's bullshit with a smile on our faces," I add. " I dunno massa, that ABC might to come and shut this whole thang down!" says Woogie in his best Uncle Ruckus voice before unleashing a mighty giggle. "So basically," i say, turning my attention back to our bemused smoking female guest, "we stand around trying to stay warm by talking shit to each other in the boring moments of calm just waiting for someone to pass out, throw up, start a fight, or do anything that generally ruins the aesthetics or safety of our little rock n roll shows here." ""Do I work here?"" asks Woogie, referencing a question that many a patron has asked us as we stand in front of the door. "Sometimes," we both say simutaneously. I had been going to shows in the Bay Area for years before i became employed in the concert industry, and i never could figure out why the staff at many venues seemed to walk around with a chip on their shoulders when i thought they had some of the greatest jobs in the world. Having a perspective from the inside it became infinitely more obvious why I might see the security or waitstaff walking around with a scowl on their faces during your favorite band's show. First of all, musical taste being an entirely personal persuit, sometimes we just think that what you all like sucks and we can't wait until the band loads out so that you people are all gone and we can have a drink. Secondly, because this is not the most well paying job in the universe, like many people in San Francisco, most of us are working multiple jobs. Therefore, someone who gets to an office, or auto body shop, or coffee shop, or wherever it is they work during the day might start their day (optomistically) at nine and not leave the venue until somewhere between midnight and three in the morning. I can tell you from personal experience that sleep deprivation combined with really loud music I personally do not enjoy does not make for a friendly doorman. Look, all gripes aside, I do love my job. It affords me the opportunity to meet world renowned musicians, see some of the craziest people and things out on O'Farrell and 11th streets, have the freedom to organize my own schedule instead of being stuck inside a cubicle all day, and get a daily workout moving tables, chairs and all kinds of road crates without having to go to some stupid gym. As far as being sour at work, look: I treat the venue like it's my living room. Welcome, come on in, get cozy, everybody play nice, don't spill anyting, and let's get as drunk or as stoned as you want, but don't make a mess or be an asshole or i'm going to first politely ask you to leave and then just kick your ass out. Really, my job is about dealing with people and keeping them safe and happy. One of our favorite situations at work is when an artists parents come to see them play. We try to take care of parents because it shows that there is something valid to being a musician or being part of the concert business; it makes us all feel like we have a real job. But hey, it sure beats working for a living.