San Francisco Music News

So it's been pointed out to me recently by more than one person that I am a terrible commnicator, which is interesting because it's my job to deal directly with people on a nightly basis. Now, the people who are accusing me of being a bad communicator are basically asking why i never answer my phone, but trust me I don't think it's an inaccurate claim. I hate using the telephone. Maybe I have some learning disability or something, but not being able to see the person on the other end makes phone calls slightly disconcerting, text mesaging drives me nuts, and trying to get the wireless internet in my house to work is like pulling teeth in a barrell. Or something like that. Personally, I think this is just a result of the creeping cynicism that I've seen in myself and my coworkers. Working around people constantly reminds you how dumb most people are. Grown-ass people will whine and curse at you like children, people will walk right past the box office just to ask you where the box office is, people put their paper trash into the ashtray when there's a trashcan three feet away. I've had arguments with crackheads about the loading zone and what the different color curbs mean, I've seen soooo many people pick cigarette buts out of the ashtray to make new and, one can only assume, better cigarettes, I've had a woman come inside and look me sqare in the eye and ask with a confused look on her face, "now what do I do?" Um...go the bathroom, buy yourself a drink, check out the merch table, get that perfect spot right in front of the stage like the rest of the people who got here early with the intention of huddling around the front of the stage for four hours, like sheep. That's why they pay me, I'm a modern shepherd. But here's the real shit: when I get a day off or a moment alone at home to myself, I don't want to deal with anyone or anything regardless of who or what it is. This all started during the the time adjustment period. It's almost like working a graveyard shift, except you don't stay up all night, but sometimes half of it. When my "office hours" started at six thirty at night and didn't end until two or three in the morning on a regular basis, my friends who actually had office jobs would call me on their lunch breaks and I wouldn't even be awake, nor would I plan on waking for several hours. I, like most people, am entirely useless at work if i haven't gotten any rest, and it takes a lot of energy to move the 300 chairs and accompanying tables for any given show and then be pleasant and accomadating all night long. The office friends couldn't believe my life schedule. They were incredulous of the fact that I never knew that I had to be at a desk from 9 to five Monday through Friday, i just looked at the venue websites to see if there was a show or not. They were jealous of the fact that I didn't own an alarm clock, I was jealous of their paychecks, and we all got along fine after that. Now, I was trying to explain all of this to a guy at a party this last holiday season who had just asked me if I were Christian Bale, and at the end of my lecture he looked at me with puppy dog eyes and said, "Gee mister, that's all so very sad. Seems to me like you should get a new job." I had just come to this party from work. We'd had a Bat MItzvah. Yeah, we do Bat Mitzvah's. "Listen buddy," I said in an accusatory tone, "just because you haven't had your idealism about..what was it you did again?" "I'm a financial constultant for a," "Yeah, exactly," I interrupted. Just because your zest for financial consulting has been stomped out of you yet doesn't mean you get to rain on my contentedly cynical parade." Remember, this was at a party. I had been drinking. However, this incident is further proof of how I feel pretty much everywhere, all the time. I couldn't be in that party full of people who work for Google and environmental firms and law offices and financial consulting offices without feeling like I was part of some social experiment, or in an episode of a sitcom. When I go to shows at other venues, I watch the fire lanes, and ask people not to drink in public in front of the door. Last weekend at Dolores Park, I watched as a guy on a three wheeled bicycle with montitor speakers attatched to the back of it plug in his iPod and basically bring the fucking party to a gorgeous Sunday in DP. The hipsters danced and whooped and crowdsurfed and did the worm and threw down their empty tall-cans triumphantly. And i stood back from it, watching and laughing a bit, again feeling like this was all a set-up for a Vice magazine shoot, rather than a whole bunch of people having a genuine experience.