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I put on my long black jacket. I don't wear that thing often because the thin material does nothing for my freezing self. Sticking my hand in the pocket I feel nothing but old paper crumbled on the bottom.
I look at them and realize that they are old bus passes I have failed to throw away. Standing there for about two minutes, I examine the stubs and am shocked by how old they are. Some are as old as three years, while some are fairly recent. This is when the memories come rushing back.
Tuesday, Feb 21, 2006 - The day of my parent's _________.
Monday Dec 26, 2005 - Winter break and still not over ______.
Tuesday, Aug 2 2007 - Ten days before _____ and I got together.
Wednesday April 18th, 2007 - Gretta and I were on our way to _____.
Friday March 16, 2005 - A couple days before I lost ______.
This made me sad...
So many things that passed. So many things done wrong. So many chances not taken.
And at the same time...
So many new beginnings. So many new decisions. So many realizations. So much better.
Honestly, I think it's dumb to dwell on the past, but at the same time that's what I do. I can never seem to let go. I could never just accept and move on. I always think about what would happen if it was different - If we hung out the next day. If I kept in contact with her. If I didn't let him get to me. If I never told anyone.
Seeing these old passes, thinking about the dates and how my life has changed since then, I realized I'm excited for the future and there are no fill in the blanks because I'm not going to regret anything.
April 5-7, 2008 - Finally seeing Blaqk Audio and Ryan's birthday
May 20, 2008 - Getting my licence
June 28, 2008 - My 19th.
August 28, 2008 - Moving out and starting sophmore year
and much much more that I want and will do.
With that being said, I'm throwing the old passes away and leaving the regrets behind. Yes, just like that, because everything I really need to be happy is right in front of me.
Kiss me where the sun don't shine, the past was yours, the future's mine.
I look at them and realize that they are old bus passes I have failed to throw away. Standing there for about two minutes, I examine the stubs and am shocked by how old they are. Some are as old as three years, while some are fairly recent. This is when the memories come rushing back.
Tuesday, Feb 21, 2006 - The day of my parent's _________.
Monday Dec 26, 2005 - Winter break and still not over ______.
Tuesday, Aug 2 2007 - Ten days before _____ and I got together.
Wednesday April 18th, 2007 - Gretta and I were on our way to _____.
Friday March 16, 2005 - A couple days before I lost ______.
This made me sad...
So many things that passed. So many things done wrong. So many chances not taken.
And at the same time...
So many new beginnings. So many new decisions. So many realizations. So much better.
Honestly, I think it's dumb to dwell on the past, but at the same time that's what I do. I can never seem to let go. I could never just accept and move on. I always think about what would happen if it was different - If we hung out the next day. If I kept in contact with her. If I didn't let him get to me. If I never told anyone.
Seeing these old passes, thinking about the dates and how my life has changed since then, I realized I'm excited for the future and there are no fill in the blanks because I'm not going to regret anything.
April 5-7, 2008 - Finally seeing Blaqk Audio and Ryan's birthday
May 20, 2008 - Getting my licence
June 28, 2008 - My 19th.
August 28, 2008 - Moving out and starting sophmore year
and much much more that I want and will do.
With that being said, I'm throwing the old passes away and leaving the regrets behind. Yes, just like that, because everything I really need to be happy is right in front of me.
Kiss me where the sun don't shine, the past was yours, the future's mine.
Comments
Suddenly the cost of it doesn't seem so high anymore.
btw, i'm also stuck with all the good AND band memories.