MichelleFf

An unhappy birthday to me. 21, huh. I can drink as much beer as I like to in the states. Great. So, you'll find me at Ben and Nicks in Oakland during the whole summer.

Two days ago I wrote the most depressing blog post ever. And look at me now. I’m back to the super cheery and cheeky me. I’m fighting fit with a smile on my face and a true sense of happiness. I’ll tell you why. It’s all because of a dress I found at Top Shop yesterday. It’s from their Kate Moss line. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Time stopped when I first saw it. It lit up the entire room. It just screamed for me and wanted me to take it away and put it on. God, I...

I have no appetite. When I do eat, everything tastes like metal. My mouth, my tongue, my teeth and lips are constantly dry. I’m restless but I’m too tired to do anything about it, other than obsessively run around in my apartment. I’m tired ’cause I can’t sleep properly. It’s difficult to stand up for a longer time ’cause I get dizzy. It’s tricky to manage my movement ’cause there’s so much tension in my muscles and they won’t do what I tell them to do, at other times...

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who made comments on my "Depression contest" entry. I read them all and it gave me peace. I'm not alone. Otherwise, It’s one of those days when I’m better off silent. So I’ll just let someone else speak for me instead. We’re better off that way. "If I could make a list of my mistakes and regrets I’d put your name on top and every line after it Because every inch of hope becomes a world of shame If you forget how to...

What is happiness? How do you find it? And when you finally do, is it even possible to hang on to it? We all know for a fact that life is a pigsty. Still, we hang on. For what? I don’t see any point in life. There’s no real reason to live (though I’d like to point out that I want to live). Then again, that’s probably why I’m on medication supposed to help the chemistry in my brain. I’ve found happiness in the wrong things. Like alcohol, drugs, relationships, eating disorders...

I guess you’re all sitting there in front of your computer, updating my blog every minute to see if I’d finally written something about the fact that I started school yesterday. I’m flattered. And of course, I won’t let you down. It’s been so long since my last serious try to study that I’ve had plenty of time to forget how much energy it takes. Work 12 hours a day? No problem. Going to school? Totally different. My patience can only take so much and I’m often overwhelmed by...

Okkervil river - The stage names; is the best record of this year - no doubt about it! As usual when it comes to Okkervil river they brought something new to the table instead of following their own footsteps. Instead of creating another album based on the same successful Black sheep boy recipe they came up with something very different (and that’s just another reason why I love them). According to me, Okkervil brought the term theme records to a whole new level. And the record is actually...