Maureen

No one told me that you're supposed to take the nicotine patch off at night. Perhaps I should have read the directions. I can not sleep with all the nicotine coursing through my brain. It feels like I am a microwave with nothing in it that has been cooking itself for twenty minutes. Or perhaps even more so, like a squirrel in a blender, which is actually a line that was once used to describe my band in what was intended to be an unflattering review, but is still one of our favorites.

The three brownies I just ate aren't helping either. I have to get up in six hours so I hope that writing this will drain my brain of all the miscellaneous thoughts vying for first place in my hopped-up consciousness. If you don't feel like reading any further, I don't blame you. I have no idea what could possibly come of it.

To add to my discomfort, my left shoulder is taped, meaning that today I willingly had a physical therapist take industrial strength tape and force my left shoulder back about three feet from where it normally slumps in hopes that I will regain sensation in my left hand. I must remain like this until Wednesday afternoon. How did I get like this? Well, I'm glad you asked. About a year and a half ago, two teenagers were driving down the road having a lover's spat. The girlfriend was the passenger and she was mad at her boyfriend, the driver. So she grabbed the wheel and steered it into oncoming traffic--me. Luckily my daughter was not hurt or I would have stomped that girl but good. My fully paid for minivan was totalled and I only got $3000 for it, although I paid about $10,000 for it the year prior. But alas, my rib cage moved up or something and it fucked up all the nerve thingys and it's not painful really, more like having something in your eye for a year and a half.

What else is bugging me? Let's see. Oh, I know. I bought two suitcases from Goodwill for my trip to Austin and I thought they were really cool and retro--plus they were $3.99 for the set--however, the lining separated from the cases and distributed a very sticky dust-crumble-like substance upon every single thing in my suitcases. So there's that.

OK, what's good? I like my job, my job is good. Actually my job is great. My daughter is effervescent. My bedroom is clean. It's getting warmer here. I'm feelig calmer. It will be good to quit smoking if I can do it. I don't see other Moms smoking Camels at the park, so I would really like to quit.

I think I can sleep now, though the Nicoderm box says that wearing the patch overnight can cause "vivid dreams". Of course I took it off hours ago, but it stays in your system for a good long time. I'll let you know if I remember anything good.