Haze

If your interest has lead you as far as this blog, I'm sure you've already read my short bio. As much as I'd love to keep my "mystique" in an attempt to "keep the listener wanting more," I'm not really sure I'm popular enough for that to be effective. That being said, I think I will go ahead and spill some real shit about me --if nothing else, to dispel or confirm any preconceived notions you may have of me from listening to my featured songs. I'm a muthafuckin' MAC! I always have been, always will be. I'm also a firm believer in the fact that my name is Cary Muthafuckin' Haze. Also, you're tap water and I'm Sparkling Perrier. I don't even drink Sparkling Perrier. In fact, I'm sure it tastes like carbonated urine. I am however, among the large cross-section of people that understand that tap water is the least expensive of the two. Therein lies my point, I'm high maintenance and your lady friend is more than likely attracted to me. I drank(drink), pop, sniff, and Robo. In my world, the word DRANK is present, past and future-tense. When I say POP, I'm not referring to a popular dance. I'm talking about Ecstasy. I do it and I really think you should as well. I can't stand Cocaine but I still buy it and sniff it from time to time. Ingesting Dextro Methorphine Hydro-bromide in large amounts is probably the most ridiculous thing a person can do. It makes you itch and twitch. It's a bad experience, but it works great in the rhyme scheme. Although codeine is more fun, I don't think "and sip codeine" would have been the best way to end that particular line. I am only occasionally a loose cannon. I'm the kind of person that takes the appropriate action in every situation. When someone says "H-A-Z-E, who is he?" I normally don't leap out of my seat and "beat they ass." When someone says "HAZE will beat that ass," however, they are almost always right. I occasionally ejaculate prematurely when engaged in sexual activity. It doesn't happen very often. But when it does, I don't care. In comparison to the countless hours I've spent properly fucking, quickies are just a funny little foot-note on my epic ass. My point is this; If you happened to experience a severe ass-whoopin' or poor sexual stamina in the time we spent together, you caught me on a "loose cannon" day. If you are wondering (as I'm sure you are) why I don't rap about having a lot of money or cars or houses, I will help you figure it out. I don't speak about having those things because I don't have those things. I don't have a car because I left it in the middle of the road one night. I live in a box with a window in downtown Spokane. Why am I this dope and still lacking these commodities? Refer to the last two paragraphs. Although I am quite the MAC, I have far too many habits detrimental to my money. I'm getting better and better all the time though. To conclude this blog, I have a few important statements to make. I really accidentally pissed in a girl's mouth once. I have consumed 2 bottles of red wine in the amount of time it took me to write this blog. My music is reserved for rockers ONLY! (by rocker, I don't mean someone who listens to rock music --I MEAN SOMEONE WHO FUCKIN ROCKS BITCH!) And lastly, I'm the epitome of the FUCK YOU culture. So basically, if you don't like what I spit, don't drink it! Bitch! I expect you to take some of things that I say with a grain of salt, a lime and a shot. I think I make pretty obvious the points I want taken seriously. If you can't differentiate, your a cock shiner. (that was meant to be taken seriously, cock shiner.) Thanks for reading! -Haze