Earlier this week, Pete Doherty, frontman for Baby Shambles and previously the Libertines, as well as former suitor of Kate Moss, was sent to prison for 14 weeks on a probation violation. Fuzz wishes Doherty a speedy, and moreover, a reflective recovery while in the hoosegow, and offers up the following tips to keep his head above water while serving his sentence.
1. Get fit. Unsure about England, but over here in America, prison is as good a place as any to grow stronger physically. Lift weights, Pete. Use your daily recess time for outdoor activities, especially since the weather is getting warmer. Do chin-ups off of your cell door. Change comes from within. Just do it.
2. Get acquainted with the prison library. Reading passes the time. We understand your time is not your own in the slammer, and we know that you’ve already read a good bit of the classics, and have even had a book of your own published. But here’s your chance to get in touch with the common man’s written word. Danielle Steele, Robert Ludlum, Stephen King…their workaday language and easy-to-follow tales will take you beyond the walls that surround you.
3. Learn a trade. We’ll bet that most rock stars in your position think they’ll never need to work. But with the world economy shifting and buckling, your precious pound sterling will soon topple like all the rest. It’ll be at this time that you may find yourself in need of some belt-tightening. Raise your hand for those extracurricular opportunities or take some correspondence courses. You’ll thank us later.
4. Keep track of time. This is one area where we gotta say, Pete, you’re on your own. Missing probation meetings is no joke. This was one of a few things you needed to stay on top of to keep out of jail, dude! Here’s a great chance to be acutely aware of what day it is, and notice each hour as it goes slowly past.
5. Get your bandmates to bake you a cake with a hacksaw in it. Because come on, man, you’re not going to last in prison. We understand–none of us could either, even with the enticing promise of an early release for good behavior. Best of luck, kiddo!