“Empathy for Humanity” or “Ode to Whores” or “Inbred and Corn Fed…Let’s Move to Florida” or “But That’s Not Funny”
It’s the oddest feeling when people laugh at things that aren’t meant to be funny.
“My Grandma died” shouldn’t get a laugh–except maybe if it’s used absurdly. Like if she’s standing right next to you. Or if you quickly tack on, “9 years ago…so that’s why I couldn’t come to your party last night.” Although I’m certainly no laugh police (I’m the dream police). Folks are free to laugh at what they want. Except in Florida.
I just got back from Florida where I performed a solo theatre piece that I wrote called BUST. It’s a play that’s billed as a “dark comedy” about me volunteering in the women’s jail in LA. As I said before, I started volunteering in the jail because I needed to find the one environment in LA where I had a shot at being the prettiest girl in the room–but with all the movie stars serving DUI time, not even the jails can put you on top of the heap anymore…sad. I digress. So BUST the play has comedic elements but it’s also about women caught in a horrific system and who have for the most part been completely forgotten and left inside the jails.
HA HA HA HA!!!
Now, if you are in Florida reading this right now–you are doubled over with yuks. It would have been the line “completely forgotten” that just killed ya. That was the sort of thing they were laughing at. The audience behavior consisted of people laughing at lines about characters being molested, answering their cell phones, or walking out in the middle of the show because they had no idea what was going on. I didn’t have any idea either–but I was on stage so I had to stay.
There’s a point in the play when the character of the prostitute says, “I don’t know how to read or write because when I was in third grade my step dad took me out of school…so I could be with him…so I don’t know how to do any of that stuff.” The line was said and the theatre erupted with laughter. For a second I thought maybe I’d unwittingly made a funny clown face, or a little clown midget that had escaped from the circus had run across the stage behind me being chased by a man dressed like a caveman with a club–you know, stuff they think is funny in Florida.
It was so confusing. The only thing I could come up with is that these were the folks that thought “COPS” was comedy. “Oh boy…here come the dogs! Ha ha ha!! They’re sending the dogs after him–he’s not even going to try to jump that fence is he!” When I mentioned how odd it was for them to be laughing at all the NOT FUNNY parts the woman who booked me said, “well, you said the show was a comedy so they get it into their heads that it’s a comedy and you know.” She blamed the victim…
Which reminds me of a little story…about my ex sister-in-law.
My ex sister-in-law (who has a HOT BOD) would wear outfits that she’d decided would look a lot cuter on her than on her 3 month old baby. So she’d tear them off the baby, shove herself into them, add some heels, and off to the strip mall we’d go for Taco Salads and smoothies. As soon as we’d park and step out of her car she would be aggressively sexually harassed which didn’t surprise me at all. What did surprise me was how absolutely angry and insulted she was by the whistles and the flicking tongues. “God! What the hell!?” she’d yell back the first few times. It would get to the point where we couldn’t carry on a conversation without a man covered in dried concrete interrupting our lunch to say “Hi.” She’d just ignore them and keep her focus on whatever it was we were talking about. She’d look honestly depressed by how inappropriate she thought the boys were all acting.
I didn’t get it. I blamed her for dressing like that. I still do. That story doesn’t really relate but I just wanted a chance to write about what a whore she was. Just kidding. She wasn’t and she isn’t and she never responds to my messages on MySpace–but that’s not what this about. I SWEAR. What this is about is how I get now why Florida is responsible for Bush being President. They think it’s funny when people are molested and that Bush won the presidency. They’re all confused. Which is kind of funny…except for the whole war thing and being hated around the world and destruction of our country–other than that–it’s frickin’ hilarious.
Weedman was a correspondent on “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart and lived in New York City right up to the time the Iraq war started. During the Gulf War she lived in Amsterdam and learned Dutch and did odd theatre. When the Iran contra thing was happening she was growing up in Indiana listening to Bowie and Costello. After Kurt died she moved to Seattle and lived there for five years as a writer/performer. She is most well-known for her AWARD winning self absorbed solo shows. Her book, A Woman Trapped in a Woman’s Body, was recently named by the Kirkus Book review as a “Top 10 Indie Book of 2007”. Now she lives in Los Angeles and has had a dreary day appearing on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and played “hysterical woman” on several episodes of “Reno 911”.
www.laurenweedman.net